


you’re not mysterious, but i still think you’re pretty cool

by orphan_account



Category: South Park
Genre: Craig Tucker is Dense, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Gen, Idiots in Love, Immortal Kenny McCormick, Implied/Referenced Suicide, I’m sorry, Kyle Broflovski is kind of an asshole, Like, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not really though, Past Character Death, Sort Of, Unrequited Love, VERY DENSE, actually fuck it kenny’s dense too, but so are stan and cartman, even more than stan, i just wanted to write crenny, it’s literally just meant to be a stupid self-indulgent fic, legit just a stupid romance thing i wrote at three am, oh and
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:47:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26548483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ‘Turning to the kid, he shot him a look. Ike stared blankly up at him. It was eerie. Oh, now he’d remembered why he didn’t like him much.“What do you think of Kenny?” Ike asked in a quiet, monotonous voice, much like his own.“Uh, he’s my best friend,” Craig replied.“I know that. But what do you think of him?”“He’s… pretty cool.”“And?”“Why do you ask?”Ike glanced up at him with a smirk that reminded him of Kenny. “Why do you think? I actually wanted to hear it from you, but I guess I can settle with what Tricia’s already told us, and seeing from your reaction, he’s more than just a friend.”“Wait-hold on, what the fuck are you going on about?” Craig snapped, trying to keep his expression level and stop the reddening he could feel burning his cheeks.“It’s pretty obvious. You like him. You two are hopeless, honestly.” And then he just… grinned and walked to the entrance, waiting there for Kenny and Karen with a self-satisfied look. What the fuck.’a self-indulgent crenny piece i started on at 3 am because why not. this is my first work, so. yeah, funoh also kenny goes through shit hereTHIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SIMPLE ONESHOT WHAT HAVE I DONE
Relationships: (it’s mentioned like once though), Ike Broflovski/Karen McCormick, Kenny McCormick/Craig Tucker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

Kenny leaned against the railing outside the planetarium, staring at the sky blankly. It was pretty clear out tonight; a little warmer than usual as well. _Kind of nice for a place that’s usually snowing and cold._  
He leaned back and looked up at the stars, trying to match them to constellations Craig had taught him days before. He could only make out three, though. 

He let out a sigh and raised his hand to push his golden locks away. He knew it was an odd habit of his, but at least it wasn’t as bad as other habits he used to have. Like… smoking. Or stabbing himself in the leg with a pencil when he got anxious. Or any of the… worse ones. His hands immediately went to his throat at the thought, and he frowned as it began to itch. Oh, god. 

This familiarly uncomfortable feeling began and he couldn’t help but rub at it, to try to make it go away. Why was it there?  
Maybe he could try to stop thinking about.. it? Trying not to think about what he’d done only made the feeling more prominent. He felt as though little pins and needles were poking at his neck. Not stabbing. Yet. Why won’t it go away?

His hands began to shake and he felt beads of sweat sliding down his forehead. But why? Why was he feeling like this? He’s died hundreds of times before. Why was this one different?

That tingling sensation turned into something worse. It felt as though there was something tightening around his neck and rubbing at it roughly enough to bleed and his chest constricted. 

God, it hurt. Kenny couldn’t breathe. He fell to his knees, clutching at his throat. He could still feel the rope, choking him as his body was suspended in the air and he clawed at the stupid thing. He hated it. He hated it so much. Oh, god. Why had he done that? 

What if _Karen_ had walked in and seen that? She wouldn’t remember, but even letting her catch him like that? He’d _never_ forgive himself. Why did he even do that? What was wrong with him? 

How had he even gotten up there in the first place when he couldn’t remember grabbing a chair or tying the noose?

It was a decision he’d made after a particularly shitty day if he remembered correctly. But of course, you can never trust the word of a blubbering fool. He began to hyperventilate as he held his head in his hands, pressing his palms into his eyes so hard that they hurt. But it wasn’t as bad as the burning feeling that he felt around his throat, constricting his breath and causing him to cough violently. 

Strangely, he was reminded of the time he’d been stabbed in the chest, right in his left lung, by some asshole. It was much like this, except when he’d coughed back then, he choked on his blood. That memory was blurry, too, though. Everything was. 

He choked back a sob.

That first memory came back now, much more clearly than before. He had been feeling shitty when he’d woken up that day, and his parents’ fighting didn’t help. Especially not the fact that he’d gotten a bottle thrown at him, one that was meant to hit his mother.

He’d gotten a large cut on his cheek. But that was normal. He always had wounds. 

Then he was called into the principal's office for something he didn’t do. Cartman had said some things and blamed them on him. He was sent back to class, though. But then Kyle and Stan began to ignore him for no real reason, talking over him right as he said anything. 

He’d been fired from one of his jobs for something that wasn’t his fault. His phone broke. Even Craig was ignoring him on that day. His best friend. 

Kenny had done what he always would to cut the day short. He killed himself. Then, he didn’t regret it. But now, he found the whole thing twisted and horrible. So there he was, crouched over on the floor, crying into his sleeve and trying to quiet his gasps. 

A hand on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts and his head snapped around to look at its owner. He fell back, shaking and wiping at his face.

“Kenny?” Craig’s usual monotonous voice was concerned. “What are you—are you okay?”

He got up so fast that he was pretty sure he sprained his wrist. “Oh, hey, Craig!” Kenny replied weakly, a half-smile on his wet face. “I-um. What are you doing here?”

“I… come here every Saturday? Wh—no. You’re not turning this around on me, Kenneth. What the _fuck_ is wrong?” Craig grabbed his friend by the shoulders.

He looked away now, as he tried to stop his stupid tears with his sleeve. They decided to come back for some reason and he really hated himself right now. “Nothing,” he mumbled. “ _Nothing is wrong_.”

“Kenny,” Craig snapped, causing him to flinch away. He frowned. “Kenny,” he tried again, this time a little more gentle. “Dude, what’s wrong?”

“I,” he started. Of course, he never finished that sentence because he… well, he couldn’t exactly tell anyone about it. First of all, they’d never believe him, and he wouldn’t even be able to say it aloud without, well, freaking out like this. You’d think he’d be used to it by now, but apparently not, which was infuriating for him. It wasn’t even one of his worst deaths. So why, _why_ couldn’t he talk about it? “I…” Even trying to say a single word about it brought him to stupid tears, ridiculously crying over something that isn’t that bad. He hid his face in his arms and refused to let Craig see.

“Dude,” Craig said, a little guilty, even though it seriously wasn’t his fault. He sighed and pulled his friend into a hug. “Hey, dude. It’s alright. If it’s that bad, you don’t have to talk about it. Okay?”

Kenny didn’t respond; he was still upset and embarrassed and confused because why was he crying over this when he’d been impaled by street lamps and pushed off of cliffs before? Hanging yourself wasn’t as bad as most of his deaths. So why was he crying? Why couldn’t he stop? This, unfortunately, made him even more upset and he found himself leaning into Craig. 

Now, when you find yourself with a crush on your best friend, you usually don’t tell them because that could ruin your entire relationship and end up distancing yourself a little. The latter of that statement was not true for Kenneth. No, when he had a crush on one of his closest friends, they got even closer for some reason. This would usually end with Kenny getting his heart broken, but he never really seemed to learn. So here he was, crying into his arms while Craig held him and tried to rub his back comfortingly (though it was quite a terrible attempt, Kenny found it a little amusing and… endearing).

Once he was calm enough to take his arms from his face, Craig looked down at him, genuinely concerned. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah,” Kenny mumbled. He sighed and dropped his forehead to Craig’s shoulder, shutting his eyes. “Sorry that you had to see that.” He let out an awkward, embarrassed laugh. 

“I don’t mind,” he replied. “Anyway, uh… do you want to—no, are you able to talk about it?”

“I’d really like to, I would,” Kenny said, sighing in slight annoyance as he fought off another bout of tears, “but my brain and body refuse to comply. It’s just… ugh. And anyway,” he added quietly, mainly to himself as he fidgeted with the end of his sleeve, “you probably wouldn’t believe me.”

“What?” Craig asked. “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

Kenny snorted and looked up. “You sound kinda like my coworker whenever he can’t understand what someone’s saying. Gets this weird tension and grits his teeth while he says it, though. And it was nothing, don’t worry.”

Craig gave him his usual half-smile, but he could tell something was still off. He led his friend to the bench that was nearby and sat down with him.

“What would the others say if they saw you being all… soft and caring?” Kenny asked, grinning a little. “So unlike your usual self?”

“Fuck that,” Craig responded in embarrassment, elbowing Kenny. “I’m not soft or caring, I’m just… worried.”

“Craig, I hang around you more than anyone,” Kenny stated bluntly, resting his chin in the palm of his hand as his wet lashes fluttered elegantly, with that sly smile spread across his face. “You’re obsessed with a kids’ show called Red Racer and have a huge soft spot for fluffy things. You’re a space nerd, you’re in love with music, and you have a strange obsession with photography that isn’t actually all that bad because all your photos are beautiful, but if you tell anyone I said that I’ll _kill you_. You’re definitely not the stoic, mysterious teenager you pretend to be around everyone else, lo—bud.” He glanced away at the end, incredibly thankful he caught himself. 

“Shut up,” his friend replied, making a face as he pointedly stared up at the sky. “You’re an idiot.”

“But you still _love me_ ,” Kenny sang, grinning. He watched the way Craig’s cheeks seemed to burn at his words and cocked a brow, his mischievous spirit beginning to tone down just the slightest so that curiosity could present itself in the form of an odd glint in his eye. He realized just what this was and dramatically gasped, his Cheshire grin returning in an instant. “Is Craig Tucker… _blushing_?”

He didn’t answer, instead choosing to ignore the orange-clad boy sitting next to him. Kenny raised a brow and pinned him with a bored stare. “Craiiiiig,” he whispered. Craig did not respond. So he tried again.

“Craiiiiiiiig.” Poking ensued. Kenny would get this idiot to answer. He managed a lot when he was determined. “Craig. Craig.”

“Oh my fucking god,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. “What?”

Kenny faltered. The one thing he could never guess when it came to Craig was his emotions. He was always… hard to read. Especially so when he had that stupid bored expression on all the time. So, Kenny had no idea whether Craig was actually pissed now, or he was just being dramatic. 

Apparently, Craig picked up on this, because he snorted and raised an eyebrow as he leaned back. “Funny how fast your mood changes,” he remarked. This earned him a very rough shove from his friend. “Rude.”

“Fuck off,” Kenny replied offhandedly.

“You first.”

“Fine, see you later, then. I’m getting Karen and her boyfriend and we’re leaving,” Kenny stated, standing. He felt the corners of his lips pulling up into a grin that he had to suppress as he headed towards the door. “Bye, Fucker.”

“Rude,” Craig called, smirking. “You’re not really gonna leave me here by myself, are you?”

“Maybe.” Kenny paused and turned to face him. “Why? I thought you didn’t care.”

“I don’t,” he replied, a little too quickly. Craig winced. “You usually don’t leave like this, though.”

“You’re right.” He gave up and went back to sitting next to him. Except now he was lying down with his legs on Craig’s, who was trying (and failing) to push him off. “Do you ever wonder if there’s anything out there?”

“Out where?” Craig asked, pausing for a moment to shoot his friend a quizzical look with those pretty green eyes of his. 

“Out there,” Kenny states. He pointed up at the sky, the strange abyss full of odd glowing things much, much larger than them. “Maybe there’s a whole other universe out there or something. Or aliens, even.”

Craig laughs, and it’s a genuine one, one that makes Kenny’s blood rush to his face. “Maybe,” he agrees. 

“In another universe, I could’ve been a real princess,” Kenny muses, folding his arms behind his head. 

“Princess Kenny was a pretty cool princess,” Craig replied. “Maybe there’s some other version of us fighting, like, aliens or something.”

“You mean like space-marine Craig and cyborg Kenny? Sign me the fuck up for that, dude,” Kenny joked. The two laughed at that—well, Kenny laughed, and Craig gave the tiniest grin—and then the comfortable silence settled over them again. Kenny found himself actually not freaking out over the impending doom that hung over his head like a broken light about to fall from the ceiling, but instead, feeling quite happy about the whole situation. Maybe that was because he was crazy, and his mood really did change every five seconds. He accepted that he had a crush on the guy next to him, the one who was currently staring up at the sky with him, the idiot wearing that stupid blue chullo that hid his greasy black hair and part of his forehead. He figured that Craig wasn’t the type to accidentally make things awkward after someone’s confessed their feelings to him. No, Craig wouldn’t distance himself after something like that. It was always the ones that confessed distancing themselves from him after he told them he wasn’t interested. 

Speaking of crushes, Kenny wondered if Craig liked anyone. He glanced over at his friend, who met his violet gaze with his own mossy green eyes and a raised brow, a small quirk of his lips. “Hm?”

“Nothing,” Kenny replied quickly, smiling innocently up at him.

Craig snorted but didn’t pry. “Alright.” He patted his friend’s leg and returned his gaze to the sky. 

He’s far too fucking pretty, Kenny thought. _Kinda like the stars. Dude, am I really that obsessed with him?_ And suddenly he’s red again. Oh, how fun. He looks away from Craig, not wanting to be caught staring because he’s pretty sure that Craig is looking at him now. Oh, not pretty sure, he’s positive. He can feel his eyes on him. Crap. 

“Dude, are you okay?”

Uh. “Sort of. I don’t really know, myself. I just… it’s weird,” Kenny said. 

Craig didn’t answer. He was waiting for him to go on. _Shit._

“See, the problem is that I…” _really really like you and can’t stop thinking about you even though I probably should and might end up ruining our friendship. Actually, screw that, I’d love to ruin our friendship, dude. Wait, I need to answer his question. Uh, crap. I could tell him my feelings about him, or about what happened earlier. I… let’s go with that second option._ “Before you came, I was… just thinking. It was nothing bad, I was perfectly fine, but then I kinda just…” he trailed off, gesturing vaguely to the sky above them. 

Still no answer. Kenny took a breath to continue when he finally heard his companion. 

“Was that a panic attack you were having?”

It startled him into laughter, even though somewhere in the back of his head, he knew it wasn't all that funny. “Sorry,” he said in between laughs. He calms down quickly. “I don’t really know, I… maybe? It’s just. I thought it was _happening again_ and… freaked out.”

Craig turned his gaze to him, thoughtful. “Try counting to a certain number whenever they come,” he suggested.

“What?”

“Counting,” he repeated. “When I was... with Tweek, he’d always get panic attacks and we had little exercises to help him out with them. Anyway, I found counting is a good way to help you through it. Count to, like, thirty-seven if you want. Remind yourself that.. that you’re not going to get hurt and you’re not in danger, either. Just sorta.. breathe.”

Kenny smiles, and it’s one of those sad ones that Craig never likes seeing on his face. Beautiful, but it was filled with melancholy. He doesn’t deserve it. He grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Thanks, Craig.” 

“You’re my best friend,” he replied, squeezing back. After a moment of quiet, he starts talking again in a normal, monotonous tone. “Do you think you’ll ever be able to talk about it?”

“Huh? Oh. Well, maybe? I don’t know. I hope so,” Kenny said, a small smile playing on his face as he sat up and looked at Craig. It dropped a moment later, though. “But it’s not very… good.”

Craig knows he’s a little selfish for wanting to know, but he can’t help it. He squeezed Kenny’s hand again. “Well, when you’re ready, I’m here to listen, okay?”

His friend stiffens, just the slightest, and looks away as he rubs at his neck. But it’s more out of embarrassment than tension. “Okay.” He shifts a little, removing his legs from Craig’s lap and curling up next to him instead, with his head hesitantly resting on his shoulder. Craig snorts and shifts closer to him, but hides his blush. 

Kenny’s always been a very… touchy person. He enjoyed physical contact much more than most people, so most of his friends were very used to his behavior—constant hugging, draping himself over their laps while they were sitting, arms around their shoulders—but today he seemed… a little more clingy(?) than usual. Not that Craig minded. He liked having the little blond close to him. Figured that he was better company than the three assholes he usually hung out with. Well, he hoped he was. 

He lifts his head and turns to face his friend. “Hey, Craig..?”

“Hm?” He responds, a brow raised as he meets Kenny’s gaze.

“I think I have a cr—no, that’s not right,” he muttered, glancing off as his cheeks burned, though it was barely visible in the dim light that came from the stars. “Let me try again. Uh. Well, see, I believe I’m completely enamored with—”

Ah, yes, what happened next was an incredibly stupid cliche thing. Karen and Ike—Kenny’s little sister and her boyfriend—opened the door that led to the little outdoor area just as he was about to tell him how he felt. Damn it. He whipped his head away from Craig’s gaze to stare at the newcomers in slight annoyance. 

“Kenny! We’re ready to go now,” Karen said, smiling at him. “Hi, Craig.”

He waved awkwardly. Kenny stood up and pulled Karen aside to whisper angrily with her. Or rather, at her, as it seemed. Well, that left Craig with… Ike.

Turning to the kid, he shot him a look. Ike stared blankly up at him. It was eerie. Oh, now he’d remembered why he didn’t like him much. 

“What do you think of Kenny?” Ike asked in a quiet, monotonous voice, much like his own. 

“Uh, he’s my best friend,” Craig replied. 

“I know that. But what do you think of him?”

“He’s… pretty cool.”

“And?”

“Why do you ask?”

Ike glanced up at him with a smirk that reminded him of Kenny. “Why do you think? I actually wanted to hear it from you, but I guess I can settle with what Tricia’s already told us, and seeing from your reaction, he’s more than just a friend.”

“Wait-hold on, what the _fuck_ are you going on about?” Craig snapped, trying to keep his expression level and stop the reddening he could feel burning his cheeks.

“It’s pretty obvious. You like him. You two are hopeless, honestly.” And then he just… grinned and walked to the entrance, waiting there for Kenny and Karen with a self-satisfied look. _What the fuck._

The two McCormick siblings finally finished talking, Karen looking a little guilty, but amused at the same time, and Kenny holding himself in a pissed, tense stance, but he seemed to be relaxing, seeing as he was somewhat smiling. He walked over to Craig. “So. I’ve gotta go and take these two home.”

“Okay.”

“I-I’ll see you later, alright?” Kenny asked, rubbing at the back of his neck as he smiled. Hesitance was not a good look on him. He turned and went after Karen and Ike, who had both left moments ago.

“Wait,” Craig said, rushing over and grabbing Kenny’s wrist. “Uh, before they got up here, you were saying something.”

“I’ll tell you later,” Kenny said, looking away. “I’ve gotta go. I—bye, Craig.”

“Okay,” he replied, letting go. “Bye.” And he watched as his best friend left, the door closing behind him. Leaving Craig alone with his thoughts, and the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading my dudes
> 
> uh  
> if you catch any odd grammar lmk
> 
> gonna post the second chapter later when i actually do finish it


	2. Chapter 2

They ran into one another at the park the next day. Well, Craig ran into him. Kenny was sitting on one of the swings, staring at his boots. 

“Hey,” he said, causing the blond to jump. He looked up and smiled at Craig, who felt a little warmer now.

“Hey, Tucker. What’re you doing here?”

“I was taking a walk. You?” He sat in the swing next to his friend, kicking at the ground a little.

Kenny hesitated— _again,_ he noticed. “Came here to think,” he finally replied, gnawing at his bottom lip. 

“Fun,” Craig remarked. Kenny smiled again. 

“Yup.”

Things felt awkward now. It was that uncomfortable kind of silence, which was odd and often meant something terrible had happened. Craig couldn’t think of anything to say and Kenny didn’t offer anything up. He chalked it up to just being a little... on edge, seeing as his cr— _friend_ did kind of break down yesterday, ruining the carefree picture of himself he’d so carefully painted, a facade that disappeared just like that. Kenny was quiet, but only around everyone else. It wasn’t that uncomfortable, tense kind of quiet, though. It was just... calm. 

But he was never quiet around Craig. Ever. Maybe when Stripe died or Craig was going through shit, but that was just about it. Every other waking moment he spent with him was always talking, or laughing, or singing, or doing _something_. Never sitting in silence like this. Maybe they’d sit together in the quiet, but even then, it wasn’t entirely quiet. Kenny would be humming, or making strange gestures, or moving in some way. At the very least, he always had a smile on. But he wasn’t smiling now, nor was he moving, not even tapping his fingers against his thigh like he usually did. He was just… staring at his boots.

Craig raised a brow. “Okay, what's wrong, dude?”

“Sorry?”

“There’s something wrong. You know it. I can tell. You’re not okay. What’s wrong?”

Kenny looked up at him, biting on his tongue as he debated between telling the truth or avoiding the question entirely. The latter won, as it is with Kenneth James McCormick. “I can never understand you,” he replied thoughtfully.

“Don’t avoid the question. What’s wrong?”

“Does there always have to be something wrong?”

“No, but you’re acting differently than you usually do. There’s clearly something wrong.”

“I don’t see it.”

“Well, I do,” Craig snapped, getting genuinely annoyed. He winced as his friend flinched away, feeling guilty once again. “Dude. Can you please just tell me what’s wrong?”

Kenny shrugged. “Lots of things are wrong,” he replied quietly. Something in his tone made Craig shiver. It was… empty. _Resigned_. “But we can’t do anything about them, so why bother?” He glanced over at Craig, but his gaze dropped back to his boots.

“We _can_ ,” Craig said, reaching over to grab his hand. He stopped himself. “But I have to know what’s wrong in order for either of us to do anything.”

A snort. “Let’s see, then,” Kenny muttered. “My parents are assholes who are always drinking and don’t care about the three children they have. My older brother is going down the same path as them. I have to work six jobs to keep the water running, the heat on, and have just enough to buy food for Karen. Alongside this, I also have to attend school, where they don’t care about any of us at all. Karen wants me to go to college and I’d love to, but I’m too fucking busy. I can’t get my own deaths out of my head and I keep worrying about what Karen would think if she were to have seen all of the horrible things I’ve done to myself just so I could cut my day short. I-“ his voice broke and he hid his face from Craig’s view. “It’s _hard,_ okay? So I’m _sorry_ if I’m acting off, I just-“

Craig had gotten up and hugged him. He didn’t realize he was shaking until now and tried to relax in his grip. 

“Sorry,” Craig mumbled. “For being a jackass. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Kenny pressed his face against Craig’s shoulder, letting out a sigh. He began to feel tired. “You’ve always been one,” he replied shakily—jokingly. “I—people never ask me what’s wrong. I’m always the one asking them. I could be bleeding out in front of them and they wouldn’t notice, and I just… don’t really know how to respond to the question, I guess?” He shrugged a bit.

Craig didn’t know how to respond. He was angry—at the people who brushed Kenny off, as though he were nothing, and as if he didn’t have feelings—but he also felt ashamed. He was guilty of doing the same to Kenny, he’d never really asked him how he was doing before. It was always Kenny asking. Always Kenny listening. Always Kenny. He opened his mouth to speak, and what came out was, “That’s fucked up.”

A startled laugh escaped from the orange-clad boy as he shifted closer to Craig, who scrambled to fix his sentence. “I mean, I know I’ve done the same thing to you before. I’m beginning to hate myself for it. You shouldn’t have to put up with everyone’s bullshit, dude.”

A shrug, and suddenly Kenny was smiling again. “It’s okay,” he said, but it wasn’t. He knew that, too. That smile was fake—plastic. “I’m kind of used to it, it’s… just kind of annoying. I just want someone to care about me for once, to care about my emotions and my well-being. Does that make me a bad person..?” He was shaking again. 

Craig pulled him closer. “No,” he replied. “Of course not.”

“It’s not normal, though, is it?”

“No,” Craig allowed, gently placing a hand in his blond locks. “Most wouldn’t have to worry about others caring for them. They know that others do.” 

“So why? Did I do something wrong? Wh—what did I do to deserve this?” He sounds broken and confused, like a child on the brink of tears. Except he was crying already and had been for a while, now. He hated that about himself. 

“I care for you.”

It’s enough to silence Kenny. He’s surprised, tears dripping from his beautiful blue eyes onto rosy, freckled cheeks. 

He didn’t expect him to care. Strange, considering they were best friends. But then again, he’d considered others his best friend before, only to find they didn’t actually care for him at all and rather used him for their own personal gains. Ahem, Cartman. He opened his mouth only to find it was very dry but tried to speak anyway.

“Okay.” And he drops his head against his friend’s shoulder.

“You feeling a little better now?” Craig asked after a few minutes, rubbing his back. He hoped it was comforting. He didn’t know how to comfort people. Or talk to them.

Kenny gives a half-smile. “Yeah,” he mumbled. He was having a harder time keeping his eyes open now. “Hey, Craig?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” And then Kenny’s asleep on the swing, with Craig’s arms around him and his head on Craig’s shoulder. Said friend snorts a little and carefully scoops Kenny up into his arms, making sure to grab his bag as well. This was a bit awkward, but it wasn’t really because he was asleep and he was also surprisingly light. If Clyde were to see him carrying Kenny bridal-style, he’d probably make fun of him. Ah, he could hear it now. 

_“Craig actually has a heart! That’s amazing! Token, are you seeing this? I can’t believe it. Wow.”_

He’d probably end up punching Clyde in the stomach and then disappearing for the rest of the day. 

Craig hoped Kenny wouldn’t mind sleeping in his room for the night. He didn’t really want to bring him back to his own house. So, he opened the door and rushed upstairs before his parents saw him, carefully setting Kenny down on the bed before going to his sister’s room. “Trish,” he called. 

She sat up and glared at him. “What.”

“Tell Karen Kenny’s staying here for tonight.”

“Why is he staying here?” She asked, hostility being replaced with curiosity. 

“I didn’t want to take him back to his house. And this way was shorter,” he replied, staring down at her with an uninterested expression. “We done?”

Tricia smirked. “Okay, fine.” She turned away, whipping out her phone, and no longer caring for Craig. He sighed, returning to his room to feed Stripe before sleeping.

Friday came. Kenny awoke, shooting up as he shivered and held in a scream that was on the tip of his tongue. 

Wait. Where was he? This certainly wasn’t his room, because it was actually warm. And the walls were blue. Oh, there was also a Red Racer poster hanging on one of them. Oh, wait.

How did he end up here? He didn’t really remember much from last night aside from nearly freaking out again and Craig being there to help him out. 

Craig. Craig wasn’t in the room. Why was he in Craig’s room? Where was his jacket?

As he pulled his legs to his chest and began to panic, _Craig_ opened the door and reentered. “Oh, you’re awake,” he mumbled. 

“What am I doing here?” Kenny asked.

Something twitched on his usually expressionless face. Craig shrugged. “Figured it would be better if you just stayed here. Was closer to the park than your house.”

“Oh,” he replied quietly. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Uh, here, borrow my clothes for now.” Craig tossed him a black sweatshirt and some jeans. 

“Thanks,” Kenny repeated, taking them. “Uh-“

“Here, I-I’ll leave the room. Err—let me know when you’re done.” He disappeared behind the door and closed it.

“Okay.”

Craig pressed his forehead against the wall as his face burned up. Jesus Christ. This is embarrassing. 

Ignoring what had happened ten minutes ago was a hard feat. Luckily, Kenny managed to push it out of his mind and now he was waiting outside for Craig. He pulled his phone out and checked his messages. Nothing new. Just a bunch of crap from Cartman as usual, and a question from Stan. He raised a brow and opened them. 

_hey dude, did you do the hw for today?_

_surprisingly yes i did, Kenny replied. need to copy?_

_yes,_ Stan sent. _pleaaase? kyle won’t let me copy his_

_ok, let me just get to the bus stop first or whatever. see you in like fifteen minutes dude_

_thanks, dude. i owe you one._

Kenny chuckled. _don’t mention it,_ he responded. 

“What’s so funny?” Craig asked as he closed and locked the door behind him, his voice rough and scratchy for a moment. He frowned down at his chest.

“Stan,” Kenny replied, showing him his phone. He grinned. 

“Didn’t do his homework again?”

“Nope.” 

“You think Kyle’s gonna be pissed?”

“Probably.” A snort.

“Where’s Ruby?”

“Went ahead for Karen.”

“Huh.”

Their walk was relatively quiet. When they got to the bus stop, their siblings were already there, along with Ike.

“Hi, assholes,” Kenny greeted the other three standing nearby. To make it clear, he did not say this to Karen, Tricia, and Ike. 

Multiple variations of ‘Hey, Kenny’ were said by his three friends. Craig sighed. 

“Do you have the homework?” Stan asked, rubbing at his neck. They seemed to be ignoring him, which was likely a good thing. 

“Mhm,” Kenny muttered, pulling his bag off and digging around in it for a moment. He found the paper and handed it to him. Kyle watched this, a disapproving frown on his face. But he said nothing. Instead, what came out of his mouth was:

“So, why did you two walk together?” Nevermind. _Fuck you, Kyle,_ Craig thought, internally flipping him off.

“Dunno,” Kenny replied.

“I’ve never seen you wear that hoodie before.”

“Mhm. Borrowed it.”

Kyle frowned again, his attempts at probing Kenny failing miserably. “From who?”

Kenny rolled his eyes. “Craig. Why does it matter?”

“It doesn’t, but-” Kyle started. Kenny interrupted him. 

“Then why do you care so much, dude? Craig’s my best friend. He let me borrow some of his clothes. End of story.”

Stan and Cartman watched the exchange awkwardly. Stan had the decency to keep his mouth shut.

“I bet you two _fucked._ ”

Craig felt his cheeks heating up, but before he could snap at Cartman, Kenny said something, rolling his eyes.

“Dude, I’ve borrowed your clothes before and stayed at your house. We didn’t fuck, he just let me stay over, now shut up.” He tapped his foot impatiently, getting fed up with the three—well, two. Stan was okay. 

They boarded the bus, as it had just stopped in front of them. Kenny took his usual seat and Craig sat next to him. “Sorry about them. They’re assholes,” he said.

Craig snorted. “I knew that,” he replied. “Are they worse than I am?”

“Nope,” he said playfully, knocking his shoulder into Craig’s. “Just kidding, though. They definitely are.”

“Ah. Why do you hang out with them?”

“We’ve sorta been friends since preschool or whatever. It’s hard to let friendships like that go. Been hanging out as a group forever. Y’know?”

“Not really, but I kind of understand. I just don’t understand why it’s them.”

Kenny grinned. “You’re an asshole.”

Craig rolled his eyes in response. “They’re worse than I am.”

“Yeah, but you’re still an asshole.”

“Fine. I’m an asshole,” he relented, keeping his lips from turning up. No smiling in front of others. 

They resided in a relatively comfortable quiet, Kenny staring out the window and Craig staring at Kenny, wondering who the hell allowed him to be so fucking pretty. He was sure he felt something for him now because that thought was not… normal. He never got red whenever someone joked about him and _Clyde_ fucking or dating. But with the way Kenny had reacted to what Cartman said, he couldn’t tell if he liked him back. Ah, what a wonderfully complicated situation this was. You aren’t supposed to fall in love with your best friend. Yet here he was. In love. With his best friend. Goddammit.

The bus slowed down in front of the school. They stood and quickly got off. Kenny glanced around before continuing on across the street. 

He really should’ve seen it coming. 

He never made it to the school. He got hit by another oncoming bus. Wonderful, absolutely wonderful. 

A shriek startled him as he laid there on the cement. Shit. 

“Kenny!” Oh, crap. It was Craig. This was bad. He was leaning over him, looking panicked. Wow, Craig with emotion on his face? Color him surprised. Shit. Everything was burning. But he wasn’t actually burning, no, this was the burning that came with being _hit_ and _run over_ by a twenty-five thousand-pound bus. Not the fire kind of burning. It was like a migraine if migraines meant you were literally dying and bleeding out in the middle of the road and everything hurt. 

“Oh my god! They killed Kenny!” Stan shouted from somewhere in the crowd that suddenly surrounded him and Craig. 

“You _bastards!_ ” Kyle replied. 

“Kenny! Holy shit, please don’t die,” Craig mumbled, pressing his hands against two of the major wounds. He winced. Did he have internal bleeding? He couldn’t tell.

“Sorry,” he croaked, because he could taste the blood and bile rising in his throat. Ew, kind of disgusting. “Don’t worry. Will be back later.”

“What? Kenny, I—“

A small smile. “Love you. See you later,” he said, as everything was getting really hazy now and—was that Death in the corner? And he probably wouldn’t remember what he said later. It wouldn’t matter anyway because Craig wouldn’t remember.

“ _Kenny,_ ” Craig said again, looking away. Was he crying? Kenny couldn’t tell. Why would he be crying? He always died. Why was he crying? Using what little strength he had left, he reached up and wiped Craig’s cheeks. And then he promptly died. 

Death was waiting for him in the Void, as Kenny liked to call it. “Hey, dude.”

They stared at him with what seemed to be an expression that said ‘really?’ But Kenny couldn’t tell because Death didn’t have a face. Wonderful. 

“I didn’t mean to die this time. I promise.”

Death didn’t respond.

“Why are you still staring at me? What’d I do?”

No response still, just that dead stare. ‘Figure it out,’ they seemed to say, gesturing to the side. 

“What do you mean?”

A little orb manifested in the middle of the Void. Kenny walked towards it and poked it. 

Ah, there he was, on the cement, with Craig trying to stop him from dying. A very graphic scene. Kenny looked up at Death with a raised brow. 

Then he heard his own voice. “ _Love you. See you later._ ”

Oh, shit. Did he actually say that out loud? He began to panic. 

And then he remembered nobody would remember in the morning so everything would be okay, and he calmed down.

“Thanks for making me almost piss myself, Death. That was incredible. What a funny joke,” he drawled, glaring at them.

They seemed to let out a sigh. 

“What does that mean?” Kenny asked, a little disgruntled now. What the fuck did Death mean by that? His curse stopped others from remembering anything that happened while he died. So why the fuck was Death making that face at him? Well, it wasn’t actually a face. It was… the air he had or something, whatever, Kenny didn’t fucking know. 

As Death seemed to be telling him something else, he began to fade. Wow, what a fucking surprise. Kenny flipped them off as he returned to the living world.

And he was on the cement again. He checked his phone. Of _course_ he would only come back at an ungodly time. 

It was three-thirty in the morning on the very next day.

So he pulled himself up to his feet and dragged himself home, not even minding the way his shirt was soaked through with blood. Luckily, though, it was a dark gray and the stupid stains would hopefully not be noticeable. He found Karen curled up in his bed and didn’t have the heart to move her. So he ended up dropping Craig’s torn sweatshirt somewhere and lying down next to her. Sleep came easy for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took longer than i said it would  
> turns out i am a bigger liar than i thought lmaoooo  
> and the laziest bitch ive ever met  
> i’m def gonna hate myself for this later so better post it now before i change my mind and end up wanting to rewrite the entire goddamn thing
> 
> anyways hope you enjoyed n ill try to like. put the last chapter out sometime soon? but school exists n im literally dying with all my work so maybe not, sorry  
> but not really sorry idont actually care that much  
> god i can’t even look at this without wanting to throw my computer out the window  
> well  
> yeah


End file.
